When people have problems in life, they can turn to friends
or if that isn’t enough, to therapists.
There are nowadays loads and loads of psychologists, counsellors and
coaches and they are very capable in detecting disorders you yourself are
unaware of. These of course can be treated by taking a therapy. Therapists need
an income too, like normal human beings.
These remarks are not autobiographical, but based on the
observation that – with some exaggeration – half of the population of my dear
country is in therapy with the other half or is being coached: `yes, you can!’
In antiquity there were no therapists in the modern
sense, however this role can be assigned to philosophers. Indeed the excellent
introduction into Hellenistic philosophy by Martha Nussbaum is called `The
Therapy of Desire’. She rightly approaches the various schools of Hellenistic philosophy
as different ways of coping with life.
Seneca, that self-declared therapist, has written three consolations:
one to his mother Helvia, one to Polybius, secretary of Emperor Claudius, and
one to Marcia. Though these consolations were directed to an individual, they
also address a wider audience. Or may be better: the grief of these individuals
was taken as a framework for writing about coping with loss. To be honest,
these consolationes are full of platitudes
and advice we would frown upon. On the other hand, they are also revealing about
attitudes about mourning in Roman (upper-class) society.
The following text comes from Ad Marciam de Consolatione, written in AD 40. Marcia came from a
wealthy family and had both lost her father and her son, for the latter she was
already grieving for three years. Seneca consoles her inter alia by saying that many other mothers have lost their sons
too and time will heal all wounds.
To be fair, it is not complete nonsense what Seneca is
saying: there are people who are enjoying the misery they are living in as a
way for giving meaning to their existence and Seneca advices: `nec illum opperiri diem quo te inuita dolor
desinat! ipsa illi renuntia’ `Don’t wait for that day mourning will leave
you against your will, but renounce/ take leave of it yourself.’ Indeed for
many people may be a sound advice, but what about Marcia?
Seneca is definitely not the person I would someone
advise to go when mourning, let alone myself…
Senaca, Ad Marciam de Consolatione , VIII.
Deinde quod
naturale est non decrescit mora: dolorem dies longa consumit. Licet
contumacissimum, cotidie insurgentem et contra remedia efferuescentem, tamen
illum efficacissimum mitigandae ferociae tempus eneruat. 2. Manet quidem tibi,
Marcia, etiamnunc ingens tristitia et iam uidetur duxisse callum, non illa
concitata qualis initio fuit, sed pertinax et obstinata; tamen hanc quoque tibi
aetas minutatim eximet: quotiens aliud egeris, animus relaxabitur. 3.
Nunc te ipsa custodis; multum autem interest utrum tibi permittas maerere an
imperes. Quanto magis hoc morum tuorum elegantiae conuenit, finem luctus potius
facere quam expectare, nec illum opperiri diem quo te inuita dolor desinat!
ipsa illi renuntia.
quod naturale: grief is not something which belongs to the essence
of Nature, hence it is not something permanent.
mora: delay, (space of) time (mora: abl.!)
longa dies: a
long period of time
contumax, -acis:
insolent, unyielding
effervesco efferbui:
to boil against, vehemently resist against
illum (dolorem)
efficacissimum:
apposition to tempus (time, something
very effective (+ dat.) for mitigating the fierceness (of sorrow)
enervo: to
weaken
duxisse callum:
(litt.) to have led to insensibility, i.e. to have become something used to.
concito: to
rouse, urge. concitatus `acute’
pertinax, -acis:
persevering
minutatim:
little by little
eximo exemi
exemptum: to take away
quotiens aliud
egeris: as often as you do something else
custodio: to
protect, guard,
multum interest:
there is a great difference
maereo: to
mourn
impero: to
command, order
Quanto…expectare:
How much more it would convene to the elegance of your customs (i.e. social
status) rather to put an end to your mourning, than to wait for it.’ Yes, I am
now giving away the translation, but I want to be sure that every reader gets
the point: keeping up appearances…
Translation
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