Suetonius, Vespesian 23: the joking emperor.

Pecunia non olet `money doesn’t stink’ is a well-known expression, attributed to Emperor Vespasian (AD 69–79). After decennia of turmoil, the reign of this man must have come as a relief. It says enough that Vespasian was one of the few emperors not to suffer a violent death.

At the end of his biography of Vespasian, Suetonius (69- after 122 AD) sums up some anecdotes about this man. Suetonius stresses the wit of this emperor, but the anecdotes are also revealing the endemic corruption and the constant shortage of cash of the Roman Empire at that period.

Entertaining as such anecdotes are, modern historians doubt their historicity. True or not, they illustrate Vespasian’s character. He even kept his wit when death was approaching: `O dear, I think I am becoming a god!’, referring to the practice of giving a divine status to deceased emperors. He was right: `Divus Vespasianus’ is the heading of his biography.

The Latin is not that easy and the anecdotes require explanation, as for modern readers the point is not immediately obvious.

Suetonius, Divus Vespasianus ,23 (The first few sentences have been left out as they contain Greek quotes)

Maxime tamen dicacitatem adfectabat in deformibus lucris, ut invidiam aliqua cavillatione dilueret transferretque ad sales. Quendam e caris ministris dispensationem cuidam quasi fratri petentem cum distulisset, ipsum candidatum ad se vocavit; exactaque pecunia, quantam is cum suffragatore suo pepigerat, sine mora ordinavit; interpellanti mox ministro: Alium tibi, ait, quaere fratrem; hic, quem tuum putas, meus est. Mulionem in itinere quodam suspicatus ad calciandas mulas desiluisse, ut adeunti litigatori spatium moramque praeberet, interrogavit quanti calciasset, et pactus est lucri partem. Reprehendenti filio Tito, quod etiam urinae vectigal commentus esset, pecuniam ex prima pensione admovit ad nares, sciscitans num odore offenderetur; et illo negante: Atqui, inquit, e lotio est. Nuntiantis legatos decretam ei publice non mediocris summae statuam colosseam, iussit vel continuo ponere, cavam manum ostentans et paratam basim dicens. Ac ne in metu quidem ac periculo mortis extremo abstinuit iocis. Nam cum inter cetera prodigia Mausoleum derepente patuisset et stella crinita in caelo apparuisset, alterum ad Iuniam Calvinam e gente Augusti pertinere dicebat, alterum ad Parthorum regem qui capillatus esset; prima quoque morbi accessione: Vae, inquit, puto, deus fio.

dicacitatem adfectabat in deformibus lucris: He used to resort to his wit (dicacitas) in relation to his foul profits (lucrum)

affecto (-are): to strive after, aim, resort (the imperfect here describes a habit)

cavillatio –onis (f.): a jest, irony

diluo dilui dilutum: to wash away

transferretque ad sales: and turned it onto jokes (sal (m.): salt, but also joke, jest)

(Cum distulisset) quendam… dispensationem cuidam quasi fratri petentem: (when he had put off ) a certain person… asking for the office of treasurer (dispensatio. A dispensator is a treasurer) for someone pretending to be that it was his brother. (Such a job could be very profitable and the pretended brother was of course paying the servant money once he got that job. However Vespasian was shrewder than his servant.)

exactaque pecunia: the money being extorted

suffragator –oris (m.): helper, supporter

pango (-ere) pepigi pactum: to agree

mora: delay

ordinavit (eum dispensatorem)

interpello (-are): to interrupt, disturb by speaking (interpellanti ministro: abl. abs.)

quaero quaesivi quaesitum: to ask

mulionem...suspicatus ad calciandas mulas desiluisse:  he suspected that a muledriver had dismounted to shoe the mules (calcio (-are)= calceo (-are): to shoe (Mules had no iron horseshoes with nails, but a kind of leather shoes.)

litigator –oris (m.): litigant, person involved in a lawsuit (In theory an emperor was the highest judge and hence the muledriver gave (praebeo praebui praebuitum) the man time and opportunity (spatium moramque) for approaching Vespasian. In practice complains were handled by the staff of an emperor, but now there was an opportunity for direct access.)

quanti: genitive of price `for how much money’, cf. below non mediocris summae

paciscor pactus sum: to agree, stipulate

reprehendenti (eum) filio Tito: abl. abs. `when his son Titus was rebuking him’

urinae: namely for urinating in public toilets

vectigal –alis (n.): (indirect) tax

comminiscor commentus est: to devise, invent

ex prima pensione: from the first payment (of that tax)

naris naris (f.): nostrils

sciscitor scisciscatus sum: to ask

odor odoris (m.): smell

atqui: and nevertheless

lotium: urine

Nuntiantis legatos decretam ei publice non mediocris summae statuam colosseam, iussit = iussit legatos nuntiantis (= nuntiantes) ei statuam colosseam publice decretam (esse) non mediocris summae

statua: statue

publice: i.e. to be paid by state resources

vel: even. Indeed (not to be confused with the disjunctive vel)

continuo: immediately

cavam manum: the cavity of his hands

basis basis (m.): fundament (the point is that Vespasian rather wanted the money than an expensive statue.)

quidem: indeed

prodigium: omen

pateo patui: to be/stand open (Normally the doors of the Mausoleum were closed. It was a bad sign when they were open.)

derepente: suddenly

stella crinita: `hairy star’, meteor

Iunia Calvina: the last survivor of the family of Augustus (Calvinus comes from calvus `bald’)

capillatus: with long hair (which was normal for the Parthians)

prima quoque morbi accessione: at the first (signs of the) appearance of death

Translation by J.C. Rolfe (1913)

But he particularly resorted to witticisms about his unseemly means of gain, seeking to diminish their odium by some jocose saying and to turn them into a jest. 2 Having put off one of his favourite attendants, who asked for a stewardship for a pretended brother, he summoned the candidate himself, and after compelling him to pay him as much money as he had agreed to give his advocate, appointed him to the position without delay. On his attendant's taking up the matter again, he said: "Find yourself another brother; the man that you thought was yours is mine." On a journey, suspecting that his muleteer had got down to shoe the mules merely to make delay and give time for a man with a lawsuit to approach the emperor, he asked how much he was paid for shoeing the mules and insisted on a share of the money. 3 When Titus found fault with him for contriving a tax upon public conveniences, he held a piece of money from the first payment to his son's nose, asking whether its odour was offensive to him. When Titus said "No," he replied, "Yet it comes from urine." On the report of a deputation that a colossal statue of great cost had been voted him at public expense, he demanded to have it set up at once, and holding out his open hand, said that the base was ready. 4 He did not cease his jokes even when in apprehension of death and in extreme danger; for when among other portents the Mausoleum

 opened on a sudden and a comet appeared in the heavens, he declared that the former applied to Junia Calvina of the family of Augustus, and the latter to the king of the Parthians, who wore his hair long; and as death drew near, he said: "Woe's me. Methinks I'm turning into a god."

Suetonius, Galba 20: The death of Galba.

Europe is going through a difficult time now, but fortunately people with some knowledge of history can put things into perspective. Alas, there are too few. Take for instance the year 69. After the death of Nero in 68 the Roman state was in turmoil. No one knew what to do and various factions were fighting each other. The result was that in a short period four emperors ruled the empire in succession. Indeed the year 69 as known as `Year of the Four Emperors’ Galba, Otho, Vitellius and Vespasian ruled during that year, with the latter as the most capable ruling till 79. The others proved to be unpopular and incapable and Galba – who declared himself emperor in June 68 – was murdered on January 15 in 69, by soldiers on instigation of Otho. His unpopularity had risen to such an extent that no one was willing to help him, except for a guard consisting of soldiers normally stationed in Germania Inferior (Germaniciani), but they came too late.

Suetonius is drawing his description of Galba’s death from various sources and gives some vivid and gory details, knowing that his ancient audience enjoyed reading such things. Well, let’s be honest: we still do.

Suetonius, Vita Galbae, 20.

Sunt qui tradant, ad primum tumultum proclamasse eum: Quid agitis, commilitones? ego vester sum, et vos mei! donativum etiam pollicitum. Plures autem prodiderunt, optulisse ultro iugulum et ut hoc agerent ac ferirent, quando ita videretur, hortatum. Illud mirum admodum fuerit, neque praesentium quemquam opem imperatori ferre conatum et omnes qui arcesserentur sprevisse nuntium, excepta Germanicianorum vexillatione. Ii ob recens meritum, quod se aegros et invalidos magnopere fovisset, in auxilium advolaverunt, sed serius, itinere devio per ignorantiam locorum retardati. Iugulatus est ad lacum Curti ac relictus ita uti erat, donec gregarius miles a frumentatione rediens abiecto onere caput ei amputavit; et quoniam capillo arripere non poterat, in gremium abdidit, mox inserto per os pollice ad Othonem detulit. Ille lixis calonibusque donavit, qui hasta suffixum non sine ludibrio circum castra portarunt adclamantes identidem: "Galba Cupido, fruaris aetate tua," maxime irritati ad talem iocorum petulantiam, quod ante paucos dies exierat in vulgus, laudanti cuidam formam suam ut adhuc floridam et vegetam respondisse eum:

Ἔτι μοι μένος ἔμπεδόν ἐστιν.

Ab is Patrobii Neroniani libertus centum aureis redemptum eo loco, ubi iussu Galbae animadversum in patronum suum fuerat, abiecit. Sero tandem dispensator Argivus et hoc et ceterum truncum in privatis eius hortis Aurelia via sepulturae dedit.

sunt qui tradant: there are those who say (sunt qui takes the verb in the subjunctive)

eum (= Galba)

commillitio –onis: fellow soldier

donativum: money, especially given to soldiers

tradant (eum) pollicitum (esse): (that he) promised (polliceor)

prodo (-ere): to tell (prodiderunt  (eum)

obfero (ferre) obtuli oblatum: to offer (optulisse = obtulisse)

ultro: voluntarily

iugulum: neck

ut hoc agerent ac ferirent, quando ita videretur, hortatum = hortatum (i.e.to the soldiers) (esse) ut hoc etc.

hoc agerent: hoc age was what a priest said to the butcher about to strike (ferio) a sacrificial animal

quando ita videretur: since this seemed so (the soldiers had resolved)

admodum:  very, quite

opem fero: to bring help

conor conatus: to try

arcesso (-ere): to send for

sperno (-ere) sprevi spretum: to despise, reject

nuntium: namely that Galba was in danger

vexillatio, -onis (f.): a body of soldiers under one flag (vexillium)

meritum: favour

aegros et invalidos, namely the Germanic soldiers

advolo: to hurry to

magnopere: very much

serius: too late

itinere devio retardati: delayed by the wrong way

iugulo (-are): to strangle

ita uti erat: like he was (uti = ut)

lacum Curti: the pond of Curtius (a pond in Rome)

gregarius: common

frumatio –onis (f.): providing of corn (this was given freely for keeping the people satisfied. The economic costs were huge, as it had to be imported.)

onus oneris (n.): load, burden

quoniam capillo arripere non poterat: he could not take the head by the hair as Galba was bald

gremium: lap

abdo (-ere): to hide

inserto per os police: having put his thumb in the mouth (of Galba’s head)

ille: Otho

lixa: someone doing the daily work at a camp, a sutler, cook, servant

calo –onis (m.): personal servant of a soldier

(caput) hasta suffixum

ludibrium: derision

Galba Cupido, fruaris aetate tua: Love god Galba, enjoy your age! The reason is explained below. It has clearly sexual overtones, as hasta does not only mean `spear’, but also `penis’.

irritatus: aroused

petulantia: sauciness, freakishness, petulance

ante paucos dies: a few days earlier

in vulgus: in public

respondisse eum: (it was said) that he had answered

vegetus: lively, active

Ἔτι μοι μένος ἔμπεδόν ἐστιν (Iliad 5, 254):  my strength is still unbroken

Ab is (= iis)..centum aureis redemptum eo loco, ubi... abiecit: a freedman threw (the head) bought from them for a hundred gold coins to that place, where…

animadverto  (-ere) in aliquem: to punish with death (animadversum in patronum suum is an impersonal construction with animadversum as a neuter singular. It is impossible to keep this construction in English, hence `where his patron had been punished with death’)

sero: at a late hour

dispensator –oris (m.): steward, treasurer

sepultura: burial

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_of_the_Four_Emperors

http://www.livius.org/articles/place/rome/rome-photos/rome-forum-romanum/lacus-curtius/?

Translation by J. C. Rolfe (1914)

Some say that at the beginning of the disturbance he cried out, "What mean you, fellow soldiers? I am yours and you are mine," and that he even promised them largess. But the more general account is, that he offered them his neck without resistance, urging them to do their duty and strike, since it was their will. It might seem very surprising that none of those present tried to lend aid to their emperor, and that all who were sent for treated the summons with contempt except a company of German troops. These, because of his recent kindness in showing them great indulgence when they were weakened by illness, flew to his help, but through their unfamiliarity with the city took a roundabout way and arrived too late.

2 He was killed beside the Lake of Curtius and was left lying just as he was, until a common soldier, returning from a distribution of grain, threw down his load and cut off the head. Then, since there was no hair by which to grasp it, he put it under his robe, but later thrust his thumb into the mouth and so carried it to Otho. He handed it over to his servants and camp-followers, who set it on a lance and paraded it about the camp with jeers, crying out from time to time, "Galba, thou Cupid, exult in thy vigour!" The special reason for this saucy jest was, that the report had gone abroad a few days before, that when someone had congratulated him on still looking young and vigorous, he replied:

"As yet my strength is unimpaired."

From these it was bought by a freedman of Patrobius Neronianus for a hundred pieces of gold and thrown aside in the place where his patron had been executed by Galba's order. At last, however, his steward Argivus consigned it to the tomb with the rest of the body in Galba's private gardens on the Aurelian Road.

 

Galba (3 BC 69 AD) Galba was bald, but used a wig.